We Registered Our Marriage

There has been a lack of activity on this blog mainly because we have been so busy with our work and also preparing for marriage, mainly the former. During this period of time and as usual, I have travelled quite abit to Korea.

So, where should I start, or rather, continue? Some updates to our relationship... we got married! Unbelievable... after 5 years and 6 months of long distance relationship, we made it and achieved the first milestone.

We had our solemnization in Singapore (at Mandarin Oriental hotel) and we chose to do it here for a couple of reasons:

1. My wedding ceremony will be in Korea, so this is like a small gathering for my Singaporean family members.

2. We have plans to stay in Singapore for good, marriage cert here will simplify PR or LTVP application administratively.

3. Registration of marriage here is more formal (in Korea, you just need to fill up a form and submit to the local district office) and more meaningful.
4. Easier to convert to Korea cert so that we have both.

The process itself is easy as long as you get your head around it. There are a few distinction for cross border marriage, which was not highlighted in the usual wedding forums. 

Firstly, if you intend to settle down in Singapore, remember to do the pre-LTVP assessment as this will shorten the LTVP application processing time to "up to 6 weeks", otherwise it could take up to 6 months. This assessment is FOC and should be taken at least one day before the solemnization. As the name suggests, this is just an assessment, it doesn't grant you anything but is for you to gauge how likely (no guarantee) your foreign spouse will be granted LTVP. If you pass the assessment, you will be granted letter of LTVP eligibility which I think is valid for a year. We did not do the assessment because we know that due to work commitments, he will not be able to stay here for the next 1 year.

Secondly, be sure to sign up for the marriage preparation program. It is not a mamdatory requirement but if you intend to apply for LTVP or PR, then this is required/preferred. I understand that you can also attend this after your solemnization. This is a 2.5 hours FOC course. I have seen couples attending this without translator even though the foreign spouse has difficulties understanding English.

Thirdly, this is just to let everyone know that your foreign spouse is able to go through the ROM process here as a tourist, with no special passes or visas.

If you are super kan chiong like me and your foreign spouse has difficulties understanding English, go through the statutory declaration (can be found online) with him/her beforehand, you are required to read this aloud infront of the ROM officer before they issue you a blank cert for signing.

We have checked out a few venues for our solemnization and decided to go with Mandarin Oriental harbour view suite for the following reasons:

1. Good food, this is quite important for my Dad

2. Good view as we have Korean family members here, we want to show them the skyline (unfortunately, our hotel rooms at Pan Pacific had better views)

3. Right size, it is meant for close family members but our family is quite huge so I needed a place to fit 60 pax.

4. Right price, this is not the actual wedding and we don't want to end up spending too much money/effort on this
5. Indoor, he can't stand wearing suit in Singapore's weather.

Mandarin Oriental harbour view suite rooms fit every criteria above. We did the ceremony in suite 3 and dinner in suites 4 and 5. Changing and makeup were done in suite 1 and we had the foyer of suite 2 for reception. As our ceremony was held on a Friday evening, we were lucky that there were no bookings so we could have all the rooms to ourselves. Overall we were satisfied with the service and arrangement at Mandarin Oriental. The night view of the skyline acts as a perfect backdrop for photos. All of our pictures turn out to be really nice even though we did not engage professional photographers. There is a ton of difference during daytime and at night, trust me, I was reluctant to go with Mandarin Oriental at first as I went to recce in the afternoon and most of the pictures posted online was during the day. It looked like a boring function room. But at night, the view is beautiful.

We stayed at Pan Pacific for the following reasons:

1. With only 6 tables, room is not included in Mandarin Oriental package price (you need at least 10 tables)

2. MO provided special rate for rooms but the standard rooms were sold out. PP rate was much better and had marina bay view.

3. Within walking distance to MO and connected to Marina Square and Suntec

PP really outperformed our expectation. They had Korean staff at the reception, shower facilities at hospitality room which could be used FOC after you check out, nice breakfast spread and really nice view (we chose the balcony rooms). The staff were really helpful and my husband was just super pleased to be serviced by the Korean staff who was able to acede to our requests on most front.

We have decided on our wedding date next year in May so stay tuned for more updates and my 스드메 (Seu-deu-me, short form for studio, dress and makeup) and hanbok choice. His aunt is in this line of business and has connections to the top notch firms which service celebrities, so everything will be a breeze for us. We will just go where his aunt recommends (otherwise preparation can be a headache). It is common to engage a wedding planner in Korea who will help you shortlist a few companies and offer better rates than you going direct. That said, being a kan chiong spider, I did my homework as well.

Korean Boyfriend Comes to Visit Singapore

I have been really busy for the entire month of May. Early May my boyfriend came to visit for a week and mid May onwards, I was busy with two business trips.

I had a hard time planning where to bring my bf since it wasn't his first time here. His last visit was in 2014.

Hotel
Hotel is the most challenging of them all. My bf does have high expectation of hotels, not that it has to be high end but it has definitely got to be clean, quiet and come with comfortable bed. We also enjoy hotel breakfast as well as the swimming pool. After considering all the above, along with price, I have settled for Park Royal Hotel Pickering Street.

Comfortable bed - checked

Great swimming experience - checked

Nice hotel buffet breakfast - checked

Read online that Lime restaurant in Park Royal Pickering is highly acclaimed. The food was good but we have had better ones in Korea. It fell a little below my expectation but nevertheless, nice environment.

Nice gesture from the hotel

Informed the hotel that it was our anniversary when booking through Agoda and was heartened that they really did send up an anniversary cake (came with a card). Definitely good customer service.

Welcome drink

Hotel also provides welcome drink (lime drink) for their guests when the check-in queue got too long. We were actually checking out on that day and didn't notice the fast check-out box placed opposite the counters. We went to queue instead and got ourselves the welcome drink (not a bad deal).

Food
My parents treated us to Jumbo seafood at riverwalk. The food was really good and these cost us around SGD300 for a table of 5.

We also visited Imperial Treasure for the dim sum. This is a must visit restaurant for my bf because dim sum is so expensive in Korea, not only that, it is also hard to find nice ones there. I don't have any photo for this though. We are quite amazed by the taste of the pork bun (crispy ones).

Another surprise planned was buffet lunch at Shangri-la hotel. The day we went, the hotel was hosting some conferences thus it got really crowded. We love the oyster, satay and dessert.

When you make reservation online, it will entitle you to 15% discount. You can also select the occasion that you are celebrating and the restaurant will present you will a complimentary cake. Although it's nice of them to delight customers with complimentary cake, considering that this is already a buffet, it seems quite unnecessary. It would have been good if they can offer something different from what is already available in the buffet spread.

We also went to Clifford Pier, my favourite place, not only for the food but also the ambience. They have live band starting at around 8pm if I am not wrong.

My usual at Clifford Pier will be the lobster roll (S$32), love the truffle fries.

Do check with them on credit card discounts when paying the bill.

After dinner at Clifford Pier, we had a nice walk along the river to Esplanade.

As we were staying in Park Royal, it was a short walk to Satay Club at Lau Pa Sat. Another hot spot for Koreans.

Astons is another of our favourite. I am sure no introduction is required as all Singaporeans should know where to find this cheap and good restaurant.

I don't usually eat fish but I was feeling sick on that day

Last but not least, my bf's favourite will be the Bah Kut Teh. We spotted lots of Koreans, apparently Song Fa Bah Kut Teh is highly raved in Korea so remember to bring your beau there. My bf actually bought back the bottled Song Fa brand dark sauce. This place is just beside Park Royal hotel.

Crazy queue

Attractions
I had complimentary tickets to River Safari and it was something that he is also interested in so we spent an entire morning at River Safari. Most of the time, we were at the panda enclosure lol. We were able to breeze through River Safari by going on a weekday.

So cute, he/she stole the limelight

For the sake of photos but it tasted not too bad too

The tickets came with free river cruise which was a complete waste of time.

Korean & Singaporean Aviation Enthusiasts - Our Dreams

Both PPK and myself are aviation enthusiasts and we work in related field. We are both in love with planes since young (he probably started earlier), attending every airshow, spending hours plane spotting, collecting plane models and watching aviation drama/movies (just like what every other aviation enthusiast does). As you might have expected, airplane brought us together.

First aerial display watched together during NDP preview on 3 Aug 2013

First airshow watched together in Korea on 26 Sep 2013

Our story of chasing after our passion, is unlike the typical fairytale. I wanted to become a pilot and thus applied to SYFC. However, I got rejected during the medical test due to eyesight (mine was slightly above 300 degrees and back then they only accepted those below 250). Just a year after I applied, they increased the minimum eyesight requirement. I think another reason they were not interested in taking me in was because I applied only when I was in University (too late). I could have gone on to apply for commercial pilot after graduation but I didn't. Honestly, I was afraid that I will be rejected. I went to apply for ATC instead. After passing the second phase of interview, I pulled out as my parents weren't supportive of me working shift. Nevertheless, I still managed to make a living in the aviation field.

Second airshow watched together in Korea on 19 Oct 2013

His story is far more like a roller coaster ride. Unlike me, he is focused and determined - took the first step and never looked back. He got into pilot training (arduous journey which I shall not elaborate), had a taste of flight but got injured midway. He stopped flying for about a year and then resumed again. All I can say is that he ran out of luck. His dream had to come to an end, at least for the time being.

Plane spotting near Gimpo Airport on 21 Oct 2013

Our favourite and most watched aerobatic performance will be the one performed by Korea's Black Eagles. For those who don't know about them, Black Eagles is the flying display team of Republic of Korea Air Force, just like Singapore's RSAF Black Knights. They have performed in 2014 and 2016 Singapore Airshow. We have followed them from Korea to Singapore, to Korea and back to Singapore again. We have seen them change a few versions of their flying manoeuvres but no matter how many times we have watched it, we enjoyed it.

Third airshow watched together in Korea on 26 Oct 2013

Even though we grew up in different environment, different culture, different nationality and had different first language, it is this passion for plane that has bonded us together. It was probably the only thing we shared in common when we first met.

Fourth air show watched together in Singapore on 16 Feb 2014

To all those out there who are pursuing your dream, don't give up. I don't have wonderful success stories to share here but just to let you know (whoever you are), you are not alone. PPK and myself will continue to pursue our passion and dream. No matter how long it takes, I will continue to support him in his pursuit. I believe that if there's a will, there's a way. You might think that it's cliché but I can tell you that believing in it gives you the drive and motivation to make it happen. Sometimes, the journey there is more meaningful than being there. The longer it takes to get there, the more meaningful it is.

Fifth airshow watched together in Korea on 24 Oct 2015

Wherever you are and however far you might be from the end point, don't give up. Live your passion and behold the beauty of dreams.

Start of a New Year

A quick post to summarise the happenings in 2015.

As of 31 Dec 2015, I have been with PPK (how I address my Korean bf) for exactly 1,000 days. It certainly is no simple feat. We have been through ups and downs. I have never regretted having the downs as it made us who we are today, more understanding of each other.

Over the 1,000 days, I have been to Korea for 18 times. Due to his work schedule, sometimes I will only get last minute notice (sometimes after I board my flight) of whether we are able to meet (we only meet in Korea ever since he started his training 2 years back). I know it sounds crazy but that is the power of love. All these would not have been possible if not for my Company's benefit.

2015 hasn't been easy for us. He has been going through a tough time in terms of his career. It has also sparked me to wonder what career options do I have in Korea.

The future is daunting but I know we will pull through it as long as we have each other's support.

Myths about long distance relationship

Long distance relationship is not for the faint hearted. I am speaking from my own experience. I have been through different phases of long distance relationship and these experiences have matured my thinking. I think I am qualified enough to write this post.

1. Things will improve with time

No, things will not improve with time unless both parties are committed to make things work. You can't go to bed, wake up 2 years later and expect your relationship to blossom. As time passes by, you get to know each other a little more and behaviour becomes more predictable. You will know what the other person is thinking and less guess work needs to be done. But all these require effort and communication.

2. Love can overcome the distance

This may sound encouraging but don't plunge into a long distance relationship based on inspirational quotes. Both parties in a long distance relationship need to be independent, matured and independent. I stress on independence because believe it or not, loneliness will kick in at some point of time. You can call, message and skype but some emotions cannot be relayed through these channels. If you enter into a long distance relationship with a healthy starting point, meaning you are already very satisfied with your life, then you possess the right mentality to be engaged in such relationship. If you are someone in need of that companion to make your life complete, think twice.

This is how your typical day sounds like in a long distance relationship. You wake up in the morning and check your phone for messages, you greet each other good morning and hurry off to work/school. Throughout the day, you drop each other messages and words of encouragement. You message and then you wait for a reply. If the reply doesn't come, you start wondering what's wrong. Sometimes you will receive photos from him/her and you smile to yourself. The usual things you say to each other are "How's your day?", "What are you doing?", "Have you eaten?", "I love you." and "I miss you.". Your life revolves around your phone. When you see other couples, you can't help thinking, how good if you could be here.

Occasionally, you fly over to meet up with your love. Those were the happiest moments of your life then comes the time when you have to bid each other goodbye. Such scenes will replay countless times and no matter how many times you have been through it, saying goodbye will not get easier with time.

3. It's just a matter of trust

Trust is a really tricky term to use. No matter how strong you are mentally and how trusting you are in your partner, there will be times when you start having doubts and suspicion. You will experience internal conflict when you can't use logic to gel the facts together. There is nothing you can do when you are miles apart. The only thing you can do is to trust. If you ever thought of checking up on your partner, forget it, it makes this love meaningless. You can do it once, you can do it twice but are you going to do it forever? If you find something, the relationship will end, if you find nothing, give yourself a pat on the back but you need to know that you have just broken the bond that holds the both of you together. Simply put, once you start doubting, that's the end.

Make sure the relationship you are heading into is something worth saying, "I give you the right to hurt me but I know you wouldn't. Even if you did, I have no regrets.". This attitude, coupled with a real nice guy/girl partner who thinks likewise, will make your relationship a success. With this attitude, you no longer need to worry about anything. At the end of this journey, there can be two outcomes - success or failure. What matters most is you have already decided that it's worth risking and you have no regrets.

4. I need to make sacrifices

I would say, lead a normal life. Long distance relationship doesn't mean that you have to sacrifice everything in your life. In every relationship, it's a give and take. You might try to make up for the guilt of not being able to physically date by skyping every now and then. By the way, it's no one's fault that you two are born or are living in different countries. Spend some time with your families and friends. Love is just one facet of life. Do not give up on your interests and passion. You can give in your all and one day, the relationship ends. What are you going to do then? Crumble and lose the meaning of life?

If your partner loves you, I am sure he/she wouldn't request you to change your life for him/her. You can be apart but you can still love and be happy even though you are not physically together.

Love is perhaps the subject that is hardest to master. Having a PhD doesn't guarantee you will have a successful love life. I'd like to think it as fate. Long distance relationship is like many other relationships just that it has an extra hurdle. If you can jump across this hurdle, it makes your relationship so much stronger.

I have many friends who have been through long distance relationship for a couple of years and are now happily married. It's not impossible but just be prepared to do a little more, endure a little more and understand a lot more.

Good luck.

Singaporean Having a Korean Boyfriend

I have decided to set up this blog because our story has gathered much interest from our own friends. Hopefully, this blog will help to answer some of the queries you have about dating a Korean, moving to Korea or even about long distance relationship.

I have got to admit that long distance relationship is not easy. You might have read alot about those motivational quotes saying that distance is not a problem. Sure, those are comforting words we use when we initially started this relationship but 2 years on, we know better.

There are differences in the way we were brought up, our culture and values. Thus, misunderstandings arise, so frequent that sometimes we don't even know what is going on. None of us are wrong but because of a difference in culture and values, we perceive the words used differently. For example, in Singapore, the social drinking culture is not as bad as that in Korea. Most of us are not avid drinkers so we usually talk and drink over one cup of alcohol. We will still be as sober at the end of the day as when we started drinking. Going back home late night is really considered comparatively safe here. However, in Korea, it involves more than that. Every social event, whether you are student or an employee, involves heavy drinking. Whether you are a guy or girl, you can drink till you drop dead. I only know about this much later. So, initially when I told him I am having a drink with friends, he got quite upset. I couldn't really understand what is wrong when so many of my friends are doing the same things and no one needs to worry about our safety. So, Singaporeans are really a well protected bunch of people.

How do we resolve all these differences? Well, we got to fight through it. There is no other way out than to undergo it and sort it out among ourselves. As time passes by, it will get easier but the journey is not easy. We have been through it all the hard way. So, I tend to believe that those who survive through long distance relationship have a established a bond that is so much stronger than that of a normal relationship.

My boyfriend is a militant and that sort of make things more complicated. It's hard for him to travel out of his country so I have to travel there. Every date we have is a long awaited one and every separation is emotional. It always starts and ends at the airport thus we have developed a love hate relationship with the airport. Also, we have to struggle with citizenship issues. Nonetheless, we managed to talk through it. I always believe that no problems can be solved if both of you are sincerely committed to turn it into a win win situation for both.

If you are in the initial stages of a long distance relationship, press on. Time will resolve all problems that you are facing now. Always believe that the disputes are not because anyone has done anything wrong and you will be fine. If you really love each other and are meant for each other, you will get through it. If it is just more than personal differences, then please practise judgement.

All the best to all the long distance lovers out there.