Adventures of 나쁜남자 and Kancheong Girl

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Saturday, March 21, 2015

Singaporean Having a Korean Boyfriend

I have decided to set up this blog because our story has gathered much interest from our own friends. Hopefully, this blog will help to answer some of the queries you have about dating a Korean, moving to Korea or even about long distance relationship.

I have got to admit that long distance relationship is not easy. You might have read alot about those motivational quotes saying that distance is not a problem. Sure, those are comforting words we use when we initially started this relationship but 2 years on, we know better.

There are differences in the way we were brought up, our culture and values. Thus, misunderstandings arise, so frequent that sometimes we don't even know what is going on. None of us are wrong but because of a difference in culture and values, we perceive the words used differently. For example, in Singapore, the social drinking culture is not as bad as that in Korea. Most of us are not avid drinkers so we usually talk and drink over one cup of alcohol. We will still be as sober at the end of the day as when we started drinking. Going back home late night is really considered comparatively safe here. However, in Korea, it involves more than that. Every social event, whether you are student or an employee, involves heavy drinking. Whether you are a guy or girl, you can drink till you drop dead. I only know about this much later. So, initially when I told him I am having a drink with friends, he got quite upset. I couldn't really understand what is wrong when so many of my friends are doing the same things and no one needs to worry about our safety. So, Singaporeans are really a well protected bunch of people.

How do we resolve all these differences? Well, we got to fight through it. There is no other way out than to undergo it and sort it out among ourselves. As time passes by, it will get easier but the journey is not easy. We have been through it all the hard way. So, I tend to believe that those who survive through long distance relationship have a established a bond that is so much stronger than that of a normal relationship.

My boyfriend is a militant and that sort of make things more complicated. It's hard for him to travel out of his country so I have to travel there. Every date we have is a long awaited one and every separation is emotional. It always starts and ends at the airport thus we have developed a love hate relationship with the airport. Also, we have to struggle with citizenship issues. Nonetheless, we managed to talk through it. I always believe that no problems can be solved if both of you are sincerely committed to turn it into a win win situation for both.

If you are in the initial stages of a long distance relationship, press on. Time will resolve all problems that you are facing now. Always believe that the disputes are not because anyone has done anything wrong and you will be fine. If you really love each other and are meant for each other, you will get through it. If it is just more than personal differences, then please practise judgement.

All the best to all the long distance lovers out there.


  1. Exactly same situation as yours. Recently decided to seriously consider relocation for each other but language,jobs,rent and money is a huge problem on both sides. Any suggestion from your side? Appreciate it.

    1. Hi, first of all sorry for the late reply as I am not actively blogging now. If you are exactly in the same situation as me, moving to Korea to look for job will not be easy even if you are fluent in Korean. You can try out teaching programme in Korea. If you are unsure whether you can settle down in Korea, I suggest going there to take up short term language courses first. You can buy yourself time to explore your options there.

      There is a better chance of Korean finding job in Singapore. Furthermore, there is a larger community of Koreans in Singapore thus adjusting to life here should be relatively easier.

      I have a friend who just got married to a Korean and even though she has been studying mba there for 2 years, she couldn't find a job there and had to end up coming back with her husband to settle down in Singapore. Her husband did manage to get a job here.

      Hope the information is useful to you.

  2. Hello Jane! Found your blog by chance. I am also a Singaporean in a LD relationship w a Korean guy. All the best to you! :)

    1. Hi, nice knowing you! Good luck in your relationship!